I had to buy printer paper so I went to Staples. Four reams of normal printer paper was $21.39, including tax. A $15 “Easy Rebate” was offered to those who would fill out a form online. The form asked for my “Easy Rebate ID,” which would be found on the paper “Rebate Redemption Form” that came with my receipt. The Easy Rebate ID was nowhere to be found. But could it be:
- The Rebate Offer Number: 17-23964?
- The Staples Promotion Number: 17-23964?
- The Rewards Number: 3494461134?
- Or, under the bar code, 00030918178876102?
Silly me, I called them up. After a wait, a young woman answered, who after several minutes of consultation, and after assuring me that it was definitely not the Staples Promotion Number, informed me that it was the Rebate Offer Number (which was the same as the Staples Promotion Number). I went back to the form on my screen and typed it in, but was told to “Please enter a valid 17 digit easy rebate ID.” Huh? Well, I decided to count the digits in the number under the bar code. Lo and behold, 0030918178876102 has how many digits? Seventeen! So I typed that in. It worked. I am now assured that I will get my Easy Staples Rebate in only 4-6 weeks.
Four to six weeks! That’s almost as long as it takes to get the first issue of a magazine subscription! Doesn’t anyone realize that we live in the Computer Age? Can’t wait for the self-driving automobile!
But what about the inability of Staples to label the number under the bar code Easy Rebate ID? Was this accidental or on purpose? Evil or merely stupid? Which is worse? I don’t know, but I will have to be satisfied with an insipidity of revenge: On the form I had unchecked the “Please Send Me Emails for Junk I Don’t Want” box. Ha!